A Recipe for a Boner and Intense Fatigue

Editors note: The following is for satirical purposes only. Not recommended. Don't do it. It's dangerous. Want to get your boss all F'd up? We attempted this in the office last week (which by the way was the most absurd thing I have ever done in an office - including any promiscuous activities.) The mission basically failed due to some overlooked technicalities, but I have refined the process and am posting what I should have done here. Obviously any practical jokes on my boss are out of the question for a while because there is no way he will fall for them, but I felt it to be prudent to record this process so I may use it at some future point in time:

Necessary ingredients:
2 x Sildenafil Tablets (this is a potentially dangerous medication FYI)
4 x Zolpidem tabs (preferably not controlled release zolpidem)
1 x 5 to 10 cc syringe (in some states available without a prescription at any pharmacy if you claim you are a heroin addict or the alike)
A small amount of a clear high proof alcohol (vodka, gin, rum, everclear, etc.)
** Sildenafil = generic name for a common boner enducing drug, Zolpidem = generic name for your run of the mill fast acting prescription sleep medication

Directions:
1) Remove the blue coating off of the sildenafils using a file. Crush into a fine powder and dissolve in about 4-5cc of alcohol.
2) Remove any coating off of the zolpidem (if there is one) using the same technique and dissolve in the same alcohol.
3) Both of these compounds should be fully dissolvable with enough mixing.
4) Aspirate into the syringe. At this point, there should basically be about 5 cc of clear fluid in the syringe. This is potent sh1t.
5) Covertly squirt into your bosses open soda or other beverage when he is not looking.

Result:
Within about 15 minutes.... The boss starts walking like a chicken. Then realizes something bad is happening. Within about 10 more minutes, sits down and passes out at his desk with a huge boner. Wakes up 8 hours later with no recollection of anything. In a potentially better scenario, he doesn't make it to his desk and wakes up on the floor with the cleaning staff vaccuming around him.

Addendum:
In a similar yet different scheme recently done successfully by a non medical friend of mine (also a writer for sfchicken) a colleagues beverage was laced with an toxic dose of fish oil. Evidently this scheme was a success and the victim had to take a day off of work to unleash his mad diarrhea. The purpetrator felt so guilty that he confessed to his boss. I am almost thinking that it may be beneficial to add a diarrhea producing drug to my concoction above.